Random thoughts on Captain America: Civil War

• I refuse to think of this as a Captain America movie. If Ironman is in it, it’s an Ironman movie
• OK, is anyone else creeped out by CGI young Tony? (shivers, like spiders are crawling down my back)
• It’s a bummer for Tony that Pepper dumped him, but I never really liked her anyway. No loss there. He’s Ironman, for God’s sake. He can do better
• Chris Evans is the whitest white boy I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry, but he’s as boring as a beige wall
• You hired Alfre Woodard to play a part in this movie, and you only gave her a few lines? What’s wrong with you people? She’s AWESOME
• Where’s Thor?

• What’s with the ridiculously oversized title cards showing scene locations? They’re like forty feet tall
• So, the UN is all upset about collateral damage from the Avenger’s saving the world from aliens. Um…did you guys miss the part about them SAVING THE WORLD FROM ALIENS? I think “thank you” is the phrase you’re looking for

• Is it just me, or is the Winter Soldier (I refuse to think of him as Bucky) hotter than he was in the last Captain America movie?
• There’s a secret high tech, super wealthy nation in Africa? And the crown prince of that nation just happens to be a bad-ass in a fancy tiger suit? Huh
• Why are there multiple pallbearers when Captain America could carry the casket all by himself? Those things are super heavy. Why risk the other guys’ backs?

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• Oh, all right. Chris Evans has really nice biceps. Whatever
• No, seriously, where’s Thor?
• Young Spider Man is AWESOME, but…Marisa Tomei as Aunt May? I find that weird
• I would watch a movie about nothing but the wacky road trip hijinks of Captain America, the Winter Soldier and the guy in the bird costume. Fabulous
• Is Colonel Rhodes an Avenger? I thought he was Air Force. Why would he have to sign a UN accord? 

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• Is Vision weirdly perving on Eastern European creepy red magic girl? (again with the spiders)
• Captain America has the hots for his dead ex-girlfriend’s niece. Ew

• I would watch an entire movie of nothing but super heroes beating the crap out of each other. SO COOL

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• Antman is OK, but…was Wolverine not available for a crossover?​
• Shouldn’t you shoot out the security camera BEFORE you murder people? And why is there a security camera on a stretch of remote road, anyway?
• Tony Stank. Ha!
• Yeah, I’m sure of it. The Winter Soldier is DEFINITELY hotter than he was in the last Captain America movie      
• All in all, despite a disturbing lack of Thor and more Captain America than I care for in my Ironman movies, I really enjoyed this one. Can’t wait for more