I can't come to work today because I have to read!

With the release of Semi-Sane tomorrow, I thought it might be a good idea to provide those of you who pre-ordered with a little note, excusing you from work--because who wants to work when they have a new book waiting for them on their Kindle??? So, feel free to fill in the blanks on this one, print it out, and give it to your employer. Happy reading!

 Dear (insert boss’s name here):
 
Look, as much as you’d like (insert your name here) to pretend it isn’t true, she doesn’t like her job all day every day. No one does. Sure, there are always a few brown-nosing sycophants who are better at pretending the job is all rainbows, kittens, and unicorns farting rainbows than she is (*cough* insert name of office brown-nosing sycophant here* cough*), but let’s face it: everyone needs a mental health day every now and then. (Insert your name here) intends to take a mental health day on November 17, 2017 because Semi-Sane, the 5th and final book in the Harper Hall Investigations series, will drop, and she’s already pre-ordered. There are a few reasons why you should actually thank her for not showing up to work on that day so that she can read:
 

1. If she came into work knowing the book was waiting for her on her Kindle, she’d just resent you all day for keeping her from it. No one needs that kind of angst in their lives, you know?
2. Reading has been proven to increase relaxation. If she’s not relaxed, she’s much more likely to smack you or a co-worked upside the head when you annoy her. (And trust me when I say that if you keep her away from my new book, she WILL be annoyed. You have been forewarned.)
3. Reading helps slow the progression of Alzheimer’s. You wouldn’t want her to get Alzheimer’s and forget just what it is she does around there, would you?
4. The Harper Hall books are funny, and with everything that’s going on in the world right now, couldn’t we all use a few laughs?
5. Because I’m the author and I said you should be happy to let her stay home, damn it. (*stomps foot*)

 
We’ll take your stunned silence as acceptance of this mental health day, and we’ll assume that your gratitude is forthcoming. You’re welcome.
 
Sincerely,
 
Isabel Jordan
Author, Harper Hall Investigations series