Things a romance hero would never do

We love you guys, but maybe this list, which contains things I’ve heard men do (no, not you, honey, but other men), is the reason why so many women love romance novels. Because a romance novel hero would never:

1. Leave beard hair in the sink. (Hey, Chewbacca, how about wiping the sink out after you’re done shaving?)
2. Shove a gallon of milk under your nose and ask, “Does this smell bad?”
3. Utilize a bedroom floor composting method for dirty clothes instead of tossing them in the hamper like normal human beings (i.e.: women).
4. Dutch oven. ‘Nuff said.
5. Channel surf with one hand on the remote and the other shoved down his pants.
6. Yell instructions at players in any sporting event as if they can hear him from his position sitting in front of the TV.
7. Ask an angry woman, “are you on your period?”
8. Tell you to “calm down” when you’re clearly very angry about something. Grrr. It’s even worse if done in combination with #7.
9. Say, “pull my finger.”
10. Send you a picture of his penis (aside to the guys who might be reading this: we like penises. Really, we do. But they are ugly. Homely as a mule’s butt, even. Trust me when I say no one wants pictures of your penis)