We’ve all seen those frantic pre-blizzard shoppers at the grocery store. You know the ones I mean. I’m talking about the women fist-fighting over the last loaves of bread. The dude loading his shopping cart with enough gallons of milk to destroy all the lactose-intolerant folks in the country. These shoppers (who will grab a 2-liter of soda out of your hands and run away with it like it’s a bar of pirate gold) are blizzard virgins. The rest of us, those who’ve survived a few blizzards, know what you REALLY need to survive when your doors are covered in ten-foot snowdrifts. But for all you virgins out there, here’s what you’ll need:
You might be a super fan of The Walking Dead if you identify with more than 3 of these statements:
You might be a Game of Thrones super fan if you agree with at least nine of these statements:
You plot Ramsey Bolton’s death in your free time, imaging the various slow, painful, graphic ways in which he will die (because it will be soon…it’s just gotta be…)
You’re seriously considering moving south. You know, in case winter really is coming sometime soon. And who wants to be around when White Walkers start moving through the north?
Position: “Mom” (alternate titles include: “Momma”, “Mommy”, and “Mother”)
Work hours: 24/7
Term: The rest of your life
Pay: The knowledge that you’re helping shape the life of a tiny human
Bonus potential: Occasional hugs and kisses
Creating a villain everyone will hate? That’s fairly easy. But creating a villain your audience secretly (or not-so-secretly) roots for? Well…that’s a little more difficult. Here are a few of my favorite likable TV villains:
Boyd Crowder, Justified
He’s smart, funny, has a smooth Southern accent, and matches the show’s hero line for hilarious line. Yeah, he blows up churches, but hey, no one’s perfect, right?
Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones
I just as easily could’ve gone with Tywin Lannister on this one, but hey, I like Jaime better. (He’s pretty, OK? Don’t judge)
Jaime Lannister is a terrible person who has done terrible, terrible things. We’re talking about a guy who’s having sex with his sister, and who once tried to kill a kid to cover up the incestuous affair. But every once in a great while, he shows little glimpses of decency and honor (like when he protected Brienne–at great cost to himself–and in his obvious love and respect for his brother) that make him darn-near likeable.
A list of things I’d like to tell my younger self:
I’d like to think we’ve all moved past the days when self-publishing was considered nothing short of sacrilegious. After all, self-publishing is a billion-dollar industry, and wild success stories are becoming more and more common. But even today, the self-publishing stigma still rears its ugly head on occasion. To clear the air, here are a few common self-publishing myths debunked:
We love you guys, but maybe this list, which contains things I’ve heard men do (no, not you, honey, but other men), is the reason why so many women love romance novels. Because a romance novel hero would never: