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Random thoughts on Captain America: Civil War

5/13/2016

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  • I refuse to think of this as a Captain America movie. If Ironman is in it, it’s an Ironman movie
  • OK, is anyone else creeped out by CGI young Tony? (shivers, like spiders are crawling down my back)
  • It’s a bummer for Tony that Pepper dumped him, but I never really liked her anyway. No loss there. He’s Ironman, for God’s sake. He can do better
  • Chris Evans is the whitest white boy I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry, but he’s as boring as a beige wall
  • You hired Alfre Woodard to play a part in this movie, and you only gave her a few lines? What’s wrong with you people? She’s AWESOME
  • Where’s Thor?

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20 Random thoughts I had while watching the premier episode of Game of Thrones, Season 6 

4/25/2016

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Warning: contains spoilers
  • Wow, I guess Ramsey actually has some human feelings after all...nope. False alarm. He’s still the same crazy, sadistic asshat he always was
  • After everything she’s been through, Sansa is going to whine about a little cold water? Did you expect Theon to roll out an escape red carpet for you? Jump in and shut the hell up, Princess    
  • I want to be Brienne of Tarth when I grow up
  • Finally, Theon seems to have grown some…well, never mind
  • Jon Snow better not really be dead

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You might be a super fan of The Walking Dead if...

2/17/2016

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You might be a super fan of The Walking Dead if you identify with more than 3 of these statements:
  1. ​You know more about the show’s shooting schedule/when episodes are scheduled to run than the cast and crew
  2. You had to quit watching pirate movies after the episodes featuring the Govenor because eye patches irrationally started to piss you off
  3. You find yourself hoarding out-of-date antibiotics and canned goods. You know, just so that you’ll have them in case the zombie apocalypse hits
  4. You think Rick has gotten inexplicably hotter with each passing season
  5. You sink into a mini depression when a season ends
  6. You find yourself wondering how characters from other shows would interact with your favorites on The Walking Dead (Seriously, Boyd Crowder from Justified could totally kick Negan's ass)
  7. You think shows in which characters don’t stab suspicious newcomers in the head are too girly for you
  8. You have fantasized about Negan (and Simon and Dwight and the jerkwad who hit Jerry that one time) dying a bloody, slow, horrible death
  9. You firmly believe that people either love The Walking Dead, or THEY ARE WRONG
  10. You watched a rom-com you would’ve ordinarily avoided like, well, a flesh-eating zombie, just because Andrew Lincoln appeared in it for a few lousy minutes 
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You might be a Game of Thrones (the HBO series) super fan if...

2/17/2016

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 You might be a Game of Thrones super fan if you agree with at least nine of these statements:

You plot Ramsey Bolton’s death in your free time, imaging the various slow, painful, graphic ways in which he will die (because it will be soon…it’s just gotta be…)
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You’re seriously considering moving south. You know, in case winter really is coming sometime soon. And who wants to be around when White Walkers start moving through the north?

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Most likeable TV villains

2/16/2016

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Creating a villain everyone will hate? That’s fairly easy. But creating a villain your audience secretly (or not-so-secretly) roots for? Well…that’s a little more difficult.  Here are a few of my favorite likable TV villains:

Boyd Crowder, Justified

He’s smart, funny, has a smooth Southern accent, and matches the show’s hero line for hilarious line. Yeah, he blows up churches, but hey, no one’s perfect, right?

Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones

I just as easily could’ve gone with Tywin Lannister on this one, but hey, I like Jaime better. (He’s pretty, OK? Don’t judge)
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Jaime Lannister is a terrible person who has done terrible, terrible things. We’re talking about a guy who’s having sex with his sister, and who once tried to kill a kid to cover up the incestuous affair. But every once in a great while, he shows little glimpses of decency and honor (like when he protected Brienne–at great cost to himself–and in his obvious love and respect for his brother) that make him darn-near likeable.

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Things a romance hero would never do

2/16/2016

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We love you guys, but maybe this list, which contains things I’ve heard men do (no, not you, honey, but other men), is the reason why so many women love romance novels. Because a romance novel hero would never:
  1. Leave beard hair in the sink. (Hey, Chewbacca, how about wiping the sink out after you’re done shaving?)
  2. Shove a gallon of milk under your nose and ask, “Does this smell bad?”
  3. Utilize a bedroom floor composting method for dirty clothes instead of tossing them in the hamper like normal human beings (i.e.: women).
  4. Dutch oven. ‘Nuff said.
  5. Channel surf with one hand on the remote and the other shoved down his pants.
  6. Yell instructions at players in any sporting event as if they can hear him from his position sitting in front of the TV.
  7. Ask an angry woman, “are you on your period?”
  8. Tell you to “calm down” when you’re clearly very angry about something. Grrr. It’s even worse if done in combination with #7.
  9. Say, “pull my finger.”
  10. Send you a picture of his penis (aside to the guys who might be reading this: we like penises. Really, we do. But they are ugly. Homely as a mule’s butt, even. Trust me when I say no one wants pictures of your penis)
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Things I promise I’ll never talk about in a Christmas letter

2/16/2016

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Things I promise I’ll never talk about in a Christmas letter…and it’d be great if you wouldn’t, either
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You all know what I mean by “Christmas letter,” right? It’s the brag sheet/year-at-a-glance overview that family and friends and acquaintances send to you along with their annual Christmas card that often stuns you into silence with the sheer amount of TMI spewed onto the page. I know it’s a little late for this since Christmas has passed and all, but I was sick over the holidays (screw you, influenza A) and only just now read a few of the Christmas letters I received—so, please forgive my tardiness in presenting this, the list of things I’ll never talk about in a Christmas letter (and I hope you’ll pay it forward, people):

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Reasons why Game of Thrones is the best show ever. Seriously. Best. Show. Ever.

2/14/2016

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During #GOT season (which is criminally short, in my opinion), I plan my Sundays around the show. I need to be on my couch, lights dimmed, ready to watch five minutes before 9pm (wouldn’t want to miss the opening theme music, you know). During the show, I don’t get up to the go to the bathroom or grab a drink/snack. I don’t take my eyes off the television. Hell, I don’t blink. I’ve watched a lot of good (and bad…really, really bad) television in my time, but I’ve never felt as strongly about a show as I do about GOT. I dare you to watch this show and not become a fanatic. In case you don’t watch (and why wouldn’t you be watching???), here are the top reasons why during the off season, I’m within kissing distance of needing a GOT support group:

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It was awesome, so naturally, it was cancelled

2/14/2016

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Top 6 shows that were cancelled too soon
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I don’t watch television shows until they’ve been renewed for at least a fifth season. Why, you ask?
Because I am a killer of good television.

It’s a documented fact that if I love a show, it will fail to find other viewers and the network will unceremoniously ax it before its time. You can all thank me for the fact that Supernatural is still going strong in season 10; I didn’t start watching it until this year. You’re welcome.

Here are the top 6 brilliant, engaging, clever shows that were cancelled only because I liked them (I mean, what other reason could there have been, right?)

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Top seven things writers can learn from watching Supernatural

2/14/2016

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(No spoilers!)
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Watching Supernatural is like free admittance to a 12-season-long writing course. Here are the top reasons to watch:
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7. Sheer beauty

As humans, we are naturally drawn to the beautiful things in life. And I don’t think there’s anyone who’d argue that Jensen Ackles is ridiculously beautiful. It’s unnatural, really. Jared Padalecki is beautiful too, but he’s young-looking enough to make me feel like a pervy creeper for noticing–so I mention that only for you younger girls out there. But if you don’t feel inspired to write a beautiful hero (especially a romantic hero) after watching these guys fight evil and save the world every week, then you might want to check your pulse, ‘cause you might be dead. (Yeah, I’m a fangirl. What of it?)


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